Saturday, August 21, 2004

This'll make no sense at all to most ... :)

I was going through my travel check-list yesterday and ended up remarking to a friend that all I still needed for my trip was a towel. Then I realized what I had just said and got the giggles.

Just remember: "A towel [...] is about the most massively useful thing an intersteller hitchhiker can have.  Partly it has great practical value.  You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you -- daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
     More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.  For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc.  Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the might accidentally have "lost."  What the strag will think is that any [wo]man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towle is, is clearly a [wo]man to be reckoned with.
     Hence, a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect?  There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."  (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)"

:D
 

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